The surgery!

We got up early to arrive at the hospital by 5. It was not pleasant. Especially since neither of us slept much. We actually arrived 15 minutes before we were supposed to. While we were waiting my in-laws showed up. This was nice because hubby and I had nothing really to talk about and were both really nervous. We all went to the prep room, and waited.

Hubby had to get into a gown, yeah a hospital gown big enough to fit him. A problem he soon won't have to worry about. Then he laid on a bed while the nurse did her stuff. He got hooked to an IV, and had to drink some funky tasting stuff to prepare his stomach. I think it was a type of antacid. They taught him how to give himself the Heparin injections. He gave himself the first one. The nurse made him do it. Then we waited. The anaesthesiologist came in and so did the surgeon. All was good to go.

We had lots of time to wait. A chaplain helped us do the power of attorney and living will. Having kids we have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I suggest this to everyone, because you never know. Your family needs to know your wishes!

Thankfully my mother in law didn't get much sleep she was our comic relief. She brought my husband a toy saddle that she thought was for his nose! It was hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried, and my side hurt. Others must have thought we were crazy to laugh so much before such an important surgery!

They finally took him away. I almost cried, but I couldn't in front of everyone. I said, "I love you!" Hubby must not have heard me he didn't say anything. Which pissed me off. Then I felt bad for being so mad at the man. If he can't get a break before surgery when can he?


Then they showed us to the waiting room and we waited. At this point it was 7 am and my sister had not called me to tell me the kids were up. I was worried because I knew my kids were up! So my in-laws said they would call me if they heard anything, and I went to the hotel. I felt horrible leaving the hospital, but my mind was a blaze with what could be wrong at the hotel. They were fine my son, Topher, was awake and daughter, Evie, was still sleeping. My sister's phone was in the room part, but she had closed the doors so Topher wouldn't bother her.


I felt relieved, and upset for not being at the hospital. I took Topher for breakfast. By the time we got back to the room Evie woke up so I watched Topher while my sister and Evie went to eat. The free breakfast at the hotel wasn't to bad. By the time they finished Topher was tired and ready for a nap again. I knew he needed me so he could go to sleep, but I wanted to hurry and get back to the hotel. I laid down with Topher and once he fell asleep I got ready to go back to the hospital. Evie wanted to go so I took her with me.

When I got back to the hospital I felt bad, but was quickly relieved to find out that nothing they hadn't heard anything yet. No news had to be good news. I just got situated and the nurse came out and told us that the surgery was over and the surgeon would be out shortly to talk to us. Yeah!

We went into the family consultation room, and waited. This was the worst part. The doctor finally came in all was well. Hubby had a hernia that doctor repaired as well. The surgeon also said that hubby was awake and complaining already. Which apparently surprised him. We had to wait a long time for them to take hubby up to his room. I had to go get my sister and Topher because check out at the hotel was noon.

I left to do that, and when I got back we headed up to hubby's room. He wasn't in too much pain, except for his back. I guess this was because of air. There was one area of his back the just hurt like hell. I know it had to of been bad because he was complaining. He isn't a complainer. We couldn't stay long the kids were to loud and hubby was sharing a room with someone.

So we left. The funny thing was later hubby called and wanted us to come back. He doesn't even remember that! Thank you morphine!! They had to move him to another bed he was to big for his. He is 6 foot 3! Because of the move he ended up in his own room. His mother and I felt horrible for not staying. He must have been miserable by himself. I know he hates to ask for things. So it was hard for him. Don't hold back if you are in this situation the staff is there for you. Take advantage and ask for help no matter what it is! I know it's hard, but there is no shame in that!

All in all he was doing well and the surgery went well. Thank God!

The day before surgery

The day before the surgery we had to drive to the hospital and get a couple prescriptions. The doctor required hubby take heparin shots 3 times a day for 2 weeks after surgery. Heparin is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. They also required he get special cleaning wipes to clean himself prior to surgery. Due to the fact that the hospital was about 2 hours away and we would have to drive back early in the morning, we decided to stay in a hotel near the hospital. We had to be at the hospital the next day by 5am!

I made reservations ahead of time, but had a horrible time finding a hotel with everything I wanted that wouldn't also cost a fortune. We needed a hotel with a microwave and fridge. To my surprise not all hotels have these! I also wanted a hotel with a pool so I could take the kids to swim! I also wanted a room with some space because the kids would be there with my sister during the surgery. I finally decided on Comfort Suites because they had a pool, a fridge, and microwave in the room, and they had a sitting room which gave us the extra space we needed. We had a king size bed, and in the sitting room a fold out queen bed. They also had a free breakfast that wasn't to bad. I recommend the hotel, but wasn't impressed with the pool. Which didn't matter because we didn't have time to swim anyways.


The prep for the surgery changed as well. He could only eat clear liquids, and he had to drink a horrible liquid to prep his bowels (empty them). I know the stuff tasted awful to. It was not pleasant, and we all had a rough day. All of us were really cranky by the time we got to the hotel esp hubby who was miserable from the bowel prep. Some of it could have been nerves because I know he was scared. It would have been nice if just he and I could have gone, but our kids are to little to leave over night yet.

Hubby didn't sleep at all. The hotel room had a separate sitting room with a queen size bed that folded out from the couch. That's what he slept on, and good thing he was in the bathroom all night long! He also had to take 2 different antibiotics at certain times, and wash himself with these special prescription cloths. To prepare him for surgery. With all that he had to do and getting up early there really was no way that he would have been able to sleep anyways. I felt bad for him, but he was so cranky it was hard to be nice to him.

Pre-Op!

Starting Tuesday hubby had to eat only liquid for the next two weeks until the surgery. He could eat 3 low carb slim fasts and 2 high protein slim fast shakes a day, 64 ounces of water a day, and chicken broth or sugar free jello. The first few days were the hardest, and he was hungry a lot. I felt horrible eating in front of him knowing he was hungry.

Friday we had to drive to the doctors office for the pre-op exam which lasted almost 5hours. We saw the dietitian, the exercise guy, the doctor, and nurse. We had to watch a video and take a test as well. It was horrible I thought we would never get to go home. The in-laws came down and were watching the kids so we both could go. As hubby's support person I was required to be there. They went over the entire surgery as well as what to do after wards. It was very educational, but a lot of information.

Moving to fast!

Ok so, Monday afternoon the doctors called and said the insurance approved the surgery great news! They were setting up the surgery for August 4th, but they had to check with the hospital first. They would call us tomorrow and let us know. That gave us no 2 weeks notice! Yikes, despite the fact that we knew this day would come we were not ready. The prep for the surgery is 2 weeks on only liquids. So I had to go out and buy all the stuff he needed. We had to schedule his pre-op exam as soon as possible, and figure out what we were going to do for the surgery.

I know I complained when the insurance took to long, but I thought that once the approval came it would be a month before the surgery was set up. All this was now moving so fast it left me in a tail spin. Now my all of our emotions were going crazy nervous, anxious, and scared about whats to come!

Insurance dilemma!

Hubby finally finished all the necessary tests for the surgery, the doctors office submitted all the paper work, and all we had left was wait for insurance approval. The first time the documents were faxed was 6-16-09. I waited for a letter from the insurance company that never came. I called the doctors office to see if they had heard anything. The answer was "NO, but we could call the insurance ourselves!" So I did, and the insurance said they didn't have anything on file. To make sure the doctors office put predetermination on the top of the fax!

So I called the doctors office back, and was told yes the forms say "predetermination". They called the insurance company and despite their fax saying the forms were sent successfully the insurance company did not receive them. So on July 7th they were re-faxed! I learned a valuable lesson, don't wait for things! So I gave the insurance company 3 days then called, and was told nothing was received. To make sure the doctors office put predetermination on the top, hubby's policy number, group number, social security number, and procedure codes all on the forms. They also gave me the fax number to make sure the doctors office sent things to the correct place. I called the doctors office. All of the information was in the correct place and all of it was on the form. They also said the fax number I was given was the fax they had been sending it to. Not only that but each time they faxed it their fax printed out a confirmation sheet saying the fax was sent successfully! They said they would re-fax it immediately!

At this point I was furious and confused. What the heck were we supposed to do? The predetermination papers had now been faxed three times to the insurance company, and we were at their mercy. For some reason things were not working out. I was no longer going to wait I decided I would call the insurance company every working day until they did something. So Monday I called. They had received the information that was sent for the third time on Friday (finally!) and were processing it! I asked how long I should give them to process it before I call back she told me if I don't hear anything by Wednesday to call back! OK finally some progress!

An hour later hubby called me and said the doctors office called him and the surgery was approved. I thought he was kidding because the insurance company just told me they were processing it. After all that trouble how could things move so fast! I have no idea, but am glad they did!

Monthly check up!

Hubby had his monthly check up today. He lost 7 more pounds. That is a total of 33 so far! Way to go babe! If only I could do that to! His next appointment might be a preop exam! Which means that his surgery might be in 6 weeks. All we are waiting on now is to hear from the insurance. He had the psych eval, clearance from the cardiologist, and sleep study done! He has to get a CPAP machine for his sleep apnea! He is a number 17 and apparently 20 is the highest so his is really bad! Monday they are coming to set him up with the machine. His mom has one though and she doesn't use it. We are going to see if he can use it then it will save us money. Because we have to rent the machine and our insurance doesn't pay until the 200$ deductible is met and then they pay 80%. At least they pay that though!

We need to save as much as we can for now. Because we will have to buy all his food for 4 weeks. 2 weeks prior to surgery and 2 weeks after, he can only have liquids! Plus, we will have to get his vitamins. I plan on staying in a hotel when he has the surgery so the kids and I can be close. He will be there for 2 to 4 days. I hope my sister or cousin can go stay with us to take care of the kids so I can be with hubby when he needs me. The surgery will be done in Chicago and that is about an hour away or more depends on traffic. A hotel will make it easy to take care of the kids, but be expensive. Otherwise it is to far of a drive to go back and forth, at least quickly!

Facing reality

The closer we get to an actual surgery date the more I am forced to face and accept the reality that my husband will be having this surgery. It is a really scary procedure and I imagine really painful. I am very worried about it, and concerned about all that he will have to go through. He will only be able to eat liquids for a long time. He will have to take vitamins for the rest of his life. He will even have to get all his medications in liquid form. I know he is worried about it, but the fact that he doesn't seem to be worried makes me mad. I want to talk about it and plan for the worst, but he acts like the worst thing that will happen is he will have to take 4 days vacation! What the heck! I am seriously freaking out here. I know not many do, but you could die from this. I know it is just the mother in me worrying about everything.

Moving along

Everything is finally done. The sleep studies, the psych eval, and the Cardiologist exam are all done. All we are doing now is waiting for the bariatric place to get the results so they can submit everything to the insurance. After that we wait to see what the insurance will say. I would think that the surgery would be approved due to the medical history and amount of problems that he has. Then again you never know so for now we pray that they realize how much he needs this for his physical and mental health. If they do he might have the surgery next month! Once it gets approved he only needs to wait 2 weeks, and that is so he can follow all the pre-surgery prep stuff.

Sleep study second part

The results from the sleep study came back hubby has severe obstructive sleep apnea. They told him he stopped breathing an average of 34 times an hour! I couldn't believe it. People have died from sleep apnea. His oxygen level drops to around 70 when he sleeps. That is considered really low. This is not good. He will have to have a cpap machine. To help him. The plus for us no more snoring! I don't know how loud the machine is though. It doesn't matter he needs it.

He just had the second sleep study yesterday to determine what levels the machine needs to be set at. Once the doctor gets the results and orders the machine we can get it from a home medical place. It will cost us a lot. Two hundred and fifty dollar deductible then the insurance pays %80. Which is better than none, but we already live on a tight budget. I guess I will have to be more careful what I buy! We aren't the most frugal! But I am working on that!

Cardiologist appt and Echo

He saw the Cardiologist this week and they set him up for an Echo which he had today. This is to clear him for surgery. All went well his heart, and the doctor said this is the perfect time for him to have the surgery before anything goes wrong!

monthly check up

Hubby just had his monthly check up, and all that is left is for him to finish all the required testing. He still has to be cleared by the Cardiologist, get the second sleep study done, and get the psychiatric consult. All of this was set up the week after his consult.

He is a little bummed. He hasn't been completely faithful to his diet and has only lost 1/2lb. At least he is still losing. It is probably my fault we ate out a lot this month. I have just been so tired and slightly depressed. It is hard to get things done when your tired, and then all the things that don't get done make you feel miserable.

Sleep study

Hubby had a sleep study done this month to. The results took forever to get back. He has to go back to the hospital for a second study to determine the levels he needs for a breathing machine. Apparently he has severe obstructive sleep apnea. I knew something was wrong because he snores like nothing I have ever heard!

The sleep study was done at night, which was hard because he normally is up at nights working nights. His next one is during the day. That will be better for him.

Throat Scope.

Hubby had to have a throat scope I don't remember the technical term. They sedated him and stuck a tube down his throat into his stomach. They said he might even stay awake, but the medication was strong and knocked him out. So much that he didn't remember anything until after being back in recovery with me. It didn't take long at all.

They did a biopsy of his stomach because it was red and irritated. They said probably "Gastritis". We haven't heard anything yet. So I suppose it wasn't that bad. He was up and ready to go in less than a half hour after the procedure, but they made us wait until after about 45 minutes and we were off. He didn't have any adverse reactions or pain. The medication did make him tired.

2 month check up!

Yesterday was hubby's 2 month check up. He has lost a total of 32lbs so far! Way to go, honey! So far daddy 32 mommy 0! Ouch. I gotta quit cheating. The doctors said all he needs to do is get the psychiatric evaluation then they will submit it to the insurance and get him set up for a surgery date. The closer we get to it the scarier it becomes. I try to act like I am not scared because as tough a guy as he is I know that he is scared!

He still needs to see the cardiologist to get cleared for surgery. He had an appointment last week but the doctor had an emergency. They rescheduled for this coming Tuesday, but called yesterday and said the doctor won't be in that day. We have to reschedule again. We are waiting the results of the sleep study too! They can take up to a month, according to our family doctor!

That is basically it. Once we get all that done he will have the surgery! He has an appointment in one month. So hopefully we can get everything done before then so at that appointment they can get him set up!

Cardiologist appt

Hubby has to get cleared by his Cardiologist before he can have surgery. I made sure all his test results were faxed over and ready. He had to take off work for the appointment. Then when he got there the doctor had en emergency, and wasn't there. They told him to come back in a hour. He did. The doctor had just finished and was on his way back. Some one needed a pace maker I think. So anyways he had to reschedule because they were so backed up now, that they didn't think they would even get to see him that day. His new appointment is in 2 weeks, never mind he had already waited a month for this appointment. It is just frustrating because we want to get things going as soon as possible. Plus, the Cardiologist could order more tests! We will see!

Latest development

At his physical my hubby found out he has a fatty liver. It is actually called Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease, and it can lead to cirrhosis of the liver if not treated. Which is kind of scary. Hopefully this will aid us in getting the insurance to cover the surgery. Unless they consider it medically necessary they won't help pay for it. I don't know how it couldn't be medically necessary for anyone who is obese!

Appointments and more appointments.

Over the past month on top of being seen at the bariatric clinic we have had none stop appointments. A Chest Xray, Abdominal Ultrasound, sleep study (done last night by the way), a complete history and physical (done today by our family doctor), and two appointments next week as well. He will see his cardiologist next week to be cleared for surgery. He will also see a gastroenterologist to get set up for a upper endoscopy. I think that is what they called it. It will be considered a minor surgery. He will be put under anesthesia and they will stick a tube down his throat because of his GERD. AKA acid reflux. What fun. The worst part is that his schedule is being changed at work so now he will be working days (good for us we get to see daddy, bad for appointments he will have to use vacation time). They have also done tons of blood work. He has been seen at the bariatric place by the doctor twice now. As well as a dietitian and exercise guy (I don't know his technical name sorry!). He will be seen monthly until we have everything ready for the surgery!

Positive note weight loss now totals 22 lbs! All this was accomplished by just changing what we eat and how! I still cheat! So no loss here. Or at least I don't think their is so I haven't weighed myself! I can't stop craving sweets! Pop and chocolate are my weaknesses! I want to do better I have no will power!

I know a good part of my problem is that the kids keep me so busy sometimes that I go without eating only to over eat at dinner time. I really need to start planning the entire days meals! I have no idea how to do that! I'm not a idiot! I just never had to think about food at all before. For most of my life I was to skinny! Not for lack of eating!

What's on the menu?

I am not the world's greatest cook. In fact I am lost in the kitchen most of the time. If I don't have a recipe I don't know what or how to do it. That is the problem. The few things I know how to make are getting old and boring. It is at the point that I hate meal times. I don't know what to do! We are sick of eating the same things all the time. I need help. My problem is amplified by the fact that I can only cook healthy meals. We try to eat low calorie high protein. That isn't always possible. I just try to buy low fat foods as much as possible. I'm currently searching for easy recipes that meet my husbands needs! I am at a loss, and overwhelmed by the massive amount of websites that have offered little to no help! I don't want to purchase a program that will only help for a while. I would love one that provides recipes, weekly menus, and shopping lists. It would also need to be one that has Internet connection to for updates. The only one I found was ridiculously expensive. So I'm still searching. It has to be easy and quick to. I got 2 kids I'm chasing around, and when I'm not chasing them around they are chasing me! So time is a rare commodity here!

No money no food!

Okay this sucks big time. We are supposed to eat healthy right. Well all the healthy foods cost so much more. No wonder Americans are getting obese! We can't afford to eat the good stuff. I bet most of us don't even realize it either. I know I didn't. I didn't and still really don't get reading all these food labels. Whole wheat, whole grain on the packaging, but check and make sure it could be a slight exaggeration on the part of the seller! What the heck is that all about is that even legal? I can't stand it. In a family of 4 with only one income money is tight! Things are not right! I don't know what to do about it, but it still sucks!

1 Month Check up!

My husband had his one month check up the other day. It was his first appointment since he started the process. This month he lost 17 lbs. He exercised 2-4 times. It is hard for him since we don't have access to exercise equipment and it is to embarrassing to go to the gym. However, he has been eating good. We only eat low fat foods, whole wheat, whole grains, more fruits and veggies, and make sure to get more protein. Plus, instead of eating 3 large meals we eat 6 small one. I haven't lost weight yet (I cheat a lot)! I am still so proud of him and need to buckle down myself as well!

The most important thing to eating this way is planning. I want to plan a weekly menu, but don't really know how. It is hard to find easy healthy recipes that we all will like. The hardest part is my two picky toddlers! I would love to have an easy computer program or website that I could make a menu and print out shopping lists!!!!

Support person...

I am supposed to be my husbands support person. I'm not sure what that means exactly. I don't know why I need an official title to do what I have always been doing. Haven't I? I make his appointments. In fact he was supposed to have one today but made me cancel it. I was furious. I thought, "If you aren't gonna go to the appointments I set up then set up your own!" I didn't mean to be crass, but I felt stupid setting up an appointment then cancelling it. Plus, he didn't say he was to tired and feeling sick. At that time he made it sound like it was my fault he wasn't going. Because me and the kids weren't going with. I know that is part of it, but he is not a child. He should be able to go alone. It is a hassle for me to go and bring the kids, but it is no different for him either way. I am just really mad about the whole thing. On top of that he acted very childish about it all. I feel like a mother not a wife. If I am the mom I want to be able to tell him what to do and ground him when he doesn't follow through! I can't support him if he won't let me.

So he missed his appointment for a complete physical from our family doctor. I will have to reschedule it. He did go earlier this week, by himself, for his abdominal ultrasound, and chest xray.

Help!

My husband said that if I don't help him with this he won't succeed. At first I was upset by this comment. I felt that is horrible to place that type of blame on me. I know that if he doesn't succeed it won't be my fault, but at the same time he will need my help and support. He will need more than that if he can get it. I am talking about the entire families support as well.

My in-laws are the greatest people ever, but they are enablers like me. They have all kinds of food that he can't have. When you are hungry you will eat whatever is easiest. Healthy food never is the easiest or fastest choice. If it were we would all be healthy because we would all eat the best foods.

One of the hardest parts is that healthy food is also the most expensive. With the economy the way it is money is thin and needs to go as far as possible. I wish I knew how to cook more. If I new how to make healthier foods it would be easy. I can only cook about 7 different meals, and most aren't that healthy. Most of them contain pasta!

I am doing my best and learning as I go. The most important thing is that I am here for him.

Changes!

The first step in this process has been to make a major life change. My husband has to go on a low fat, high protein diet. Which means basically he has to totally change the way he eats and the food he eats. In order to be successful at this we all have to make changes as well. Which isn't to hard for the kids since they eat several small meals a day and I try to make sure they eat healthy foods. For me this is another story until I had kids I was always skinny. I never watched what I ate or paid attention to calories, fat, carbs, sugar, or whatever else. I feel like a lost freshman in high school, all this is so new to me!

I have to change the way I shop, and the things I buy. The hardest thing is being aware of which foods are better. Labels and flashy advertising often make that difficult. One big thing is whole wheat. The way the dietitian explained it is the browner the better then it has been processed less. Food lose nutritional value the more they are processed. The worst thing I have discovered is that the healthier foods are the more expensive foods. I don't know why since many have been processed less to get onto the shelves. We already spend a lot on groceries.

I need to make a weekly meal plan for the entire day, and then a grocery list. The problem with that is it seems like a lot of extra work, and I am already overwhelmed with my two toddlers! I have little time to myself if any!

I guess the biggest thing is I have to accept these changes as a way of life and just start implementing them! Wish me luck!

The need for surgery!

My husband has been slowly gaining weight over the years, I won't say his weight because he is very sensitive to it, however I honestly didn't even notice it. I feel bad looking back on our lives, and think that if I had paid more attention I could have done something else. I don't really know. They say love is blind and it is. To me he has always been the man I love, and the father of my children.

I knew he had gotten heavier, and so have I. It took a doctor telling us how bad it was to open up my eyes. The problem is not really his weight as much as it is the health problems caused by being overweight. He suffers from chronic pain, and is limited to what he can do. He has back problems, sleep problems, chest pain, depression, and much more. He has our family doctor, a cardiologist, and an orthopedic surgeon all supporting his decision, or rather need to have this surgery.

He doesn't have much of a choice at this point. We have tried various diets over the years with no success. He must loose the weight because the bottom line is that if something isn't done soon he won't be around long enough to see his children grow up.